Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant? by
Roz Chast My rating:
4 of 5 stars My mother is 99. I have lived and am living a story similar to this, so I am still mulling my reaction to the book. I want to like it, because it validates some of my life for the past 15 years, but I want to hate it, because it exposes some of my life for the past 15 years, including inadequacies.
Yes, it talks about some things that I don't really want to think about. And, it talks about things that I have gone through. I admire Roz Chast's ability to be honest about the whole process, especially her own ambivalence about her mother. The end of life time is painful and discouraging.
My own circumstances are a bit different. At least her parents had enough money to tide themselves over. My mother did not. Ms. Chast is wealthy enough that the extras that were needed were only worrisome - and not painful. I am not. I could get some money from my husband, and I did, but since my mother treated him unacceptably many years ago, I have excused him from all further contact with her and I hate to use his hard earned money to support her.
But other than money, the stories are similar. The decline in mental functioning (her father), the exaggeration of negative personal characteristics (her mother) are very familiar. And the inevitable fading of physical vitality is discouraging. My mother, too, has to be cared for as does a baby. And the last time I managed to talk to her on the phone, she babbled like one - no words, just unintelligible burbling.
This is not a feel good book, though. The carefully drawn images of her mother toward the end lend it a bit of resolution, but not enough to give me a feeling of peace. Perhaps, someday. My mother is still living at 99.
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